May 12, 2008

The Donkey and the Farmer~ A Fable

Blue Grass Fields Pastures near Loretto KY

As I have time in the evenings I am continuing my studies in Catholic thought, and so have been reading both a novel about St Teresa of Avila as well as her own biography "My Life"
I have found this anecdotal story in one of these as well as a book of her quotations. It seems to describe the situation that I find myself in

There was a Farmer who had a donkey that didnt mind him promptly and irritated him everyday. The donkey would finally do what he wanted and he did get a lot of work and profit from the beast, but he was annoyed at the way the donkey went about things. One day, the donkey, not watching what he was doing stumbled and fell into the well. The Farmer sighed, and said, "You know, I have just about had enough of this stubborn donkey that doesnt mind me so I will just bury it in the well and be done with it" With that, as the donkey was braying its distress, he got a shovel and began to fill in the well with dirt. His three sons hearing the donkey braying and seeing the father shoveling dirt into the well came running up and asked him why he was filling in their only well and what was the donkey doing in there. The Farmer snapped "Dont ask questions about what I am doing or why, just get a shovel and start digging. I am done dealing with this disobedient donkey. So the sons got shovels and started to help their father fill in the well

The Donkey, meanwhile, had stopped braying as dirt would get into his mouth when he had it open. He closed his mouth and shrugged off the dirt and rocks the muck and mire that was being thrown on top of him. Eventually the donkey was able to pull itself up and stand on the dirt that was being shoveled down the well. With every shovel full, he shrugged it off to his feel and scrambled up. This infuriated the Farmer who yelled to his sons to work faster. By nightfall, the men were exausted and the well was filled in. The Donkey scrambled out of the now filled in well and onto the grassy yard. He ambled out of the gate and into the pasture where he began to eat his fill of the sweet grass, to rest and be ready for another day...

Of course, St Teresa was the donkey and the Inquisitors were the Farmer and his sons. For me I am the Donkey and the Father and Son that run the school are the Farmer and his sons. Its a sad situation that I find myself in, families struggling with issues not really in their control, that may be causing them to not make the most rational decisions, is a painful deal.

But I have to be the one to shrug it off. I only have 7-8 more weeks that I have paid for. I need to make the very most of this that I can. I may not be able to stay for longer even though I would pay for the time. I know that I annoy him. Like the donkey I dont seem to be able to follow the directions with the alacrity that is expected. Partially it is because I do some process and do not think it is up to standard, then backtrack and do things over again and cause the instructor to think I am not doing the steps in order. I was told by him that he doesnt do One on One instruction, but then later he said that after every step he wants to see what I am doing... The rules change and it annoys him that I cant keep up, that I messed up the timetable by being sick all of those days and that I am not the shining star that the last two long termers were. Again I find that I am in a position of disapointing. People seem to have HUGE expectations of me that I can never meet and the disapointment tends to sour the relationship forever.

I found myself avoiding him, avoiding asking questions or disturbing him. Six weeks with this unstable manic depressive recovering alcoholic has turned me back into the cringing, people pleasing over acheiver that really wants to be invisible for fear of failure and ... well... Its sick and must end. There is too much at stake and I cant believe I can shed 20 years of recovery so easily. Like I told Woody, I am likely going to need therapy when this is over... pretty amazing.

On the other hand...I have found that God is no waster of anything. Perhaps I am going to learn at long last to trust Him hourly... To leave the day behind when I walk out the studio door at 5, knowing that it really will be a new day in the morning. No grudges seem to be held and the mood swings are so wide that its a given that it will be a a different place the next day. Again its all about trusting God with the future. I can literally feel my fingers being peeled off of my future, like a childs hands being pulled off a toy or a car door handle...one finger at a time. I am struggling against the Hand that is doing that peeling off, so that He can give me something better.

I know that I am learning something that will take me a lifetime to perfect. But with what I have now...even now I can go home and start my business and make a go of it. That is very exciting. I may not get the Certification that I wanted... but I have no diplomas in anything else that I do either. I just know that when I closed my mouth, stopped crying and looked at the peices that I have worked on, the happiness of future customers who can have their treasures back to enjoy will be affirmation enough. I am just plowing a field right now, the harvest will come after the labor has been put in...I can count on it

Labels: Faith, Louisville, Quotable Quotes

May 11, 2008

Isaiah 32:1-8,15-18~ The Coming of The Spirit of The Lord

Fire From Heaven Spring Sunset over Holiday Island Arkansas

Isaiah 32:1-8,15-18


Behold, a king will reign in righteousness,
and princes will rule in justice.
Each will be like a hiding place from the wind,
a shelter from the storm,
like streams of water in a dry place,
like the shade of a great rock in a weary land.
Then the eyes of those who see will not be closed,
and the ears of those who hear will give attention.
The heart of the hasty will understand and know,
and the tongue of the stammerers will hasten to speak distinctly.
The fool will no more be called noble,
nor the scoundrel said to be honorable.
For the fool speaks folly,
and his heart is busy with iniquity,
to practice ungodliness,
to utter error concerning the Lord,
to leave the craving of the hungry unsatisfied,
and to deprive the thirsty of drink.
As for the scoundrel—his devices are evil;
he plans wicked schemes
to ruin the poor with lying words,
even when the plea of the needy is right.
But he who is noble plans noble things,
and on noble things he stands.

When the Spirit is poured upon us from on high,
and the wilderness becomes a fruitful field,
and the fruitful field is deemed a forest.
Then justice will dwell in the wilderness,
and righteousness abide in the fruitful field.
And the effect of righteousness will be peace,
and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.
My people will abide in a peaceful habitation,
in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.

Labels: Scenic Arkansas, scripture

May 07, 2008

The Selling of Memories

The Old Downtown of New Albany Indiana, where I am attending jewelers school. This is the heart of a community revitalization project that has brought 50 new businesses employing 300 plus people (including the school which moved there from another city last September)to this nearly 200 yearl old city on the skids. Sadly, things are not going well as the dismal economy is taking its toll. With the elections held yesterday both candidates spent a lot of time here, people hoping for a Democratic win and renewal through "change"...

"Please I really need as much as I can get... you still buy gold dont you?..."

Charlie nods as the harried looking woman with her school age children in tow, drops a baggie full of chains and earrings and other jewelry on the counter. Charlie dumps the bag out and begins to sort and test each peice of gold. As she waits she stikes up a conversation with the retired watchmaker that comes in two days a week. The state of Indiana has a law that during the winter, your power and heat cannot be turned off for any reason, but after May 1st, you get a three day notice. This lady was one of a number of people that came in with desparation on their faces...

There was quite a bit and the final total of a lifetime of gifts and treasured momentos was..."$534.89...I'm sorry I wish it was more but we buy for scrap only and the stones are not counted. If you want them they will be two buck a peice to remove..."

"Its not enough, I owe 1600 dollars to the power people, maybe I can stave them off... ok I will do it." Her ID is copied, and a release is signed...A check is written and she went on her way. Charlie sighs... and mutters "I wish I could do more..." as he dumps the little containers with the various karat weights into the storage boxes that eventually go to the refiner to be melted down...

I wonder sometimes if I really understand. I know what it was like to be in that kind of a situation. We sold a timeshare we loved, a pick up truck, a riding mower. I put hundreds of personal belongings into consignment and sold much of the stuff our mothers gave us...let alone the store inventory that I sold for a song when we needed money during those fateful years in Paradise. Woody had a job that due to the low wage and the expenses of just getting him to the job and keeping him there dragged us into the hole every six weeks... the money crunch was a nightmare. We nearly lost our house, and would have come back to the mainland with suitcases as so many people do. But God delivered us...

I am not like the lady that sold her wedding rings off of her finger yesterday. Young and expecting, with a husband in Iraq, she was laid off and was facing losing her apartment because she cant juggle all of her bills now that she has just the money he sends her. Her prospects of getting a job in her condition are slim to none. Charlie tried to tell her to just pawn it because 250.00 was all he could give her. She took the money and signed her lovely ring away. Charlie took it and put it the safe... "If her husband comes home he may want to buy that back... dont tell anyone I just did that." I wanted to cheer.

I have been broke. when newly single in 1988, I joked that I needed 2.5 dates a week to get by and thank God for free food at Happy hour at Acapulco because I ate there a lot. It helped me make my 280.00 a week go just a little further. I have gone hungry, and have found bags of groceries on my front porch delivered in the dark by kind friends. But I have yet to sit in the dark or face the cold for lack of heat, nor ever slept in my car like friends I know have at times in their lives. I fear that sort of thing... it gnaws at me

So here I sit in my lovely apartment with my fuzzy little yipper, thankful, but wary because this is a national trend, check out this articleWe have been doing this slowly for years, selling things to pay off other bills and I fear that we will be reduced to this. Woody doesnt understand how to live like this, on the edge, and has no words of comfort for me. He tells me I am stupid to think this way. Im not. It could happen to any of us.

Labels: Conner School, Current Events, Hawaii, Marriage

May 04, 2008

Psalm 17~You Have Tried My Heart

The Inner Courtyard of the Little Portion Monestery Prayer Garden. This area and the building in the background was destryed by fire this week. Berryville Arkansas

Psalm 17

A Prayer of David.

Hear a just cause, O Lord; attend to my cry!
Give ear to my prayer from lips free of deceit!
From your presence let my vindication come!
Let your eyes behold the right!

You have tried my heart, you have visited me by night,
you have tested me, and you will find nothing;
I have purposed that my mouth will not transgress.
With regard to the works of man, by the word of your lips
I have avoided the ways of the violent.
My steps have held fast to your paths;
my feet have not slipped.

I call upon you, for you will answer me, O God;
incline your ear to me; hear my words.
Wondrously show your steadfast love,
O Savior of those who seek refuge
from their adversaries at your right hand.

Keep me as the apple of your eye;
hide me in the shadow of your wings,
from the wicked who do me violence,
my deadly enemies who surround me.

They close their hearts to pity;
with their mouths they speak arrogantly.
They have now surrounded our steps;
they set their eyes to cast us to the ground.
He is like a lion eager to tear,
as a young lion lurking in ambush.

Arise, O Lord! Confront him, subdue him!
Deliver my soul from the wicked by your sword,
from men by your hand, O Lord,
from men of the world whose portion is in this life.
You fill their womb with treasure;
they are satisfied with children,
and they leave their abundance to their infants.

As for me, I shall behold your face in righteousness;
when I awake, I shall be satisfied with your likeness.

Labels: John Michael Talbot, Little Portion, Scenic Arkansas, scripture

May 01, 2008

Through the Fire

The beautiful Charity Chapel,Little Portion Hermatage, Berryville AR

I dont get emails from John Michael Talbot often, and only a handful that were not a part of a greater distribution, So I was surprised to see on in my inbox. He was to be on tour until summer, so it was unexpected

John Michael Talbot

the message was worse

From JMT - Written on Tuesday, April 29,2008

Dear Hokulea,

Last night the sleep of the Brothers and Sisters of Charity, Monastic, was interrupted close to midnight as a raging fire burned our Chapel and Common Center to the ground. Viola and I were the first on the scene as I saw the orange/red glow through our hermitage's back windows. Upon arriving we found there were no hoses capable of stopping the raging flames. I ran up the hill and woke up the community, and we started the almost futile task of spraying down the part of the Common Center that had not yet burned and retrieving anything from inside we could still find.

A Photo of the Chapel and Commons going up in flames. the loss is devestating

He went on to say that the Chapel, Refectory, Library and offices for the various ministries as well as Troubadour For The Lord Records and its inventory were a total loss. However praise be to God that while there is smoke injuries No one was killed or injured. They are so far up in the hills that it took the fire dept nearly 30 minutes to respond to the fire and sadly the community was not prepared for a fire like this.


The bell tower of the now destroyed Charity Chapel Little Portion Monestery, Berryville AR

I am praying for these dear people who mean the world to me. JMT said to me at the last retreat as we were sharing a meal that he really wanted to focus on the Community in the comming years, That he has loved every minute of his 50 years of performing recording and playing music, it wasnt the thing he knew God was doing in his life anymore full time. How interestng that all of the awards, trophies, memorabelia, photos and archives of the past 30 years vanished in an hour. This man who would tell you he owns nothing and cares only for the people God has entrusted to his leadership, has seen a devastating personal loss of stuff, but perhaps a freeing up to do more. For example, the community has been concerned for years about the wooden buildings, and have slowly as funds allowed rebuilt in durable stone more in keeping with the enviroment here. The fire has been ruled accidental and there was proper insurance. They can rebuild more quicklly this way but it was a painful way to get to this point.

If anyone is interested in donating to the building fund you can click herethis takes you to Troubadour For The Lord ministies website and is secure. Thank you for your prayers and intrest weather you give or not

This is a community that has weathered many storms, has stood through controversy and misunderstanding and even distain. JMT has seen it all and as I have said before that one of the many reasons I have admired him for much of my life is that "he walks the talk..." .Perhaps this latest trial is yet another way to show the world this radiacal way to love God and to live out that love totally by serving others. When I get discouraged, I will remeber this, and through the fires of our lives with the help of God we will see it through to the end...

.With a Little Help From our friends... receiving a gift from the brothers of Subiaco Monestery, The Monastic Brothers and Sisters of Charity,( yes including the kids!)Berryville AR

Labels: Breaking News, Catholic, Faith, John Michael Talbot, Little Portion

April 27, 2008

John 16~ Jesus Has Overcome The World

The Verdant Lake Shore Lake Bella Vista, Arkansas

John 16 from the New Living Translation

Jesus Warns the Disciples

"I have told you these things so that you won't fall away. For you will be expelled from the synagogues, and the time is coming when those who kill you will think they are doing God a service. This is because they have never known the Father or me. Yes, I'm telling you these things now, so that when they happen, you will remember I warned you. I didn't tell you earlier because I was going to be with you for a while longer.


The Work of the Holy Spirit

"But now I am going away to the one who sent me, and none of you has asked me where I am going. Instead, you are very sad. But it is actually best for you that I go away, because if I don't, the Counselor won't come. If I do go away, he will come because I will send him to you. And when he comes, he will convince the world of its sin, and of God's righteousness, and of the coming judgment. The world's sin is unbelief in me. Righteousness is available because I go to the Father, and you will see me no more. Judgment will come because the prince of this world has already been judged.

"Oh, there is so much more I want to tell you, but you can't bear it now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth. He will not be presenting his own ideas; he will be telling you what he has heard. He will tell you about the future. He will bring me glory by revealing to you whatever he receives from me. All that the Father has is mine; this is what I mean when I say that the Spirit will reveal to you whatever he receives from me.


Sadness Will Be Turned to Joy

"In just a little while I will be gone, and you won't see me anymore. Then, just a little while after that, you will see me again."
The disciples asked each other, "What does he mean when he says, `You won't see me, and then you will see me'? And what does he mean when he says, `I am going to the Father'? And what does he mean by `a little while'? We don't understand."

Jesus realized they wanted to ask him, so he said, "Are you asking yourselves what I meant? I said in just a little while I will be gone, and you won't see me anymore. Then, just a little while after that, you will see me again. Truly, you will weep and mourn over what is going to happen to me, but the world will rejoice. You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy when you see me again. It will be like a woman experiencing the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives place to joy because she has brought a new person into the world. You have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. At that time you won't need to ask me for anything. The truth is, you can go directly to the Father and ask him, and he will grant your request because you use my name. You haven't done this before. Ask, using my name, and you will receive, and you will have abundant joy.

"I have spoken of these matters in parables, but the time will come when this will not be necessary, and I will tell you plainly all about the Father. Then you will ask in my name. I'm not saying I will ask the Father on your behalf, for the Father himself loves you dearly because you love me and believe that I came from God. Yes, I came from the Father into the world, and I will leave the world and return to the Father."

Then his disciples said, "At last you are speaking plainly and not in parables. Now we understand that you know everything and don't need anyone to tell you anything. From this we believe that you came from God."
Jesus asked, "Do you finally believe? But the time is coming...in fact, it is already here...when you will be scattered, each one going his own way, leaving me alone. Yet I am not alone because the Father is with me. I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world."

Labels: Scenic Arkansas, scripture

April 24, 2008

Committed

my bench Conner Jeweler's School New Albany IN

I pull my visor down and my vision forms and all becomes clear, the tiny bits of solder become shining squares against a black background . I take my torch and apply heat to the square and it becomes a molten ball. I quickly scoop up the tiny ball with a iron pick hoping that the ball will stick to the pick. Thank you, it does, now heat the ring then on the prong and off 4 times or so the little ball should jump off the pick when held close to the hotter metal and stick to the prong... I am successful about half of the time...I am successful now. Quickly, I grope for the prong wire and try to heat the solder on the ring just enough so it will cause the wire to stick to the prong when I touch it, but not so hot that the solder will come of onto the wire...I must do this quickly as the wire conducts heat fast and I need my touch to tell me if the wire adhears I have burned myself twice this way this morning and I am not up for more torture. I am successful only 1 in 10 tries today, this one was sort of OK, at least the wire stuck on but it was so crooked that if this was an actual customer job I would have to sand it off and start over. A miserable waste of time...

I knew it would be hard. This is exactly the sort of thing that comes hard to me, the One that can barely walk and chew gum at the same time...But I get it eventually...

There is no "Plan B"
There is no "Exit Plan"
There is no giving up...

There are a lot of issues. First I am still not 100 percent well. I have a ragged cough and a lot of Lung congestion. I am still having to sleep sitting up. Thank you for your prayers and comments.

I went to class this monday, but was too weary tuesday to go in and the instructor started making noises about "giving me part of my money back if I felt like I couldn't do it."...When I asked him if he thought that I had potential he said "Yes, that I have done work that was up to store standards and some perfectly. I have the ability to learn what I need to to open my business." "OK then, lets get going.." I said the next morning...

But there are no other students right now, and the hired help quit, so his other apprentice, a gal that is simply amazing for such a short amount of time at the bench, is now hired to be the gal friday and is moving from Chicago to work there and go into the business that way. But other than her there is no one else to handle the counter, take in repairs and buy the gold that has turned this semi profitable business into literally a gold mine. Today it was discovered that a watch that was taken in for repair by a student trying to help,(and not done correctly either) was missing and the customer wanted it back. I expended no effort in trying to find it but focused on my work...I felt the tension rising so I spoke up today about it.

I am a paying student, I have no time to waste getting involved with the operations of the business. I dont need to earn "credit" towards tools or other stuff. I am there to learn, and if no teaching is going on then I expect to be practicing what I have already learned and have the materiels and tools at hand to do that. If my instructor is not able to teach and I am not able to work that day on other things then I need to be compensated for that day. So while I am understanding about illness and the like, no attitudes for not picking up the phone or taking to the counter customers, that is not my place to be doing that. I dont dump trash or clean toilets, that is not my place either...

I know that the Instructor agreed verbally that I was right but I can see issues like this for the whole time that I am here. Woody and I discussed the possibility that the Instructor my be unable to continue in the long term (he confided that he is looking into a possible early retirement due to his health) and that we may be forced to look at a Plan B such as the school in Florida or even seeing if the Drouhards are still teaching up in Ohio. It really could give me the worries... but it also is a reminder that God is fully behind every thing that goes on.

I have signed a lease for three months and then it is month to month. I only have given three months of the 6 months of money to the school. If this is what God really wants me to do then He will make a way. I will trust Him to bring it to fruition in His time.

One of the things that makes it hard is the horrible music they play in there. I have started bringing my Ipod and listening to the wonderful podcasts, teaching and other programs as I did at thisplace. I feel a real lift in my heart as I take in daily food from God's word as well as instruction from great teachers and others. I can listen to this as long as I dont have a demonstration or DVD to watch. Tuning out the constant distractions is a huge help to me.

I am as committed as a soilder to this. I dont know what the future will hold, but I want to get through this and succeed. For the first time in my life, I dont want to be told that "I cant" or "You annoy me cause you arent doing it well enough so stop already" or " I am sick of this so we have to stop"... My life as I know it depends on making a go of this business.

I said tonight that I dont know how I will feel about staying in NW Arkansas if I have to work for someone. Commuting is just crazy, the price of gas is nearly $4.00 a gallon. If we came to the city like moving here we could use Public transit and be closer to everything we need. I can walk to the store, the doctor I am using even church if I chose. Its all within a mile of here. Its 5 miles to a store in Bella Vista. I could get used to apartment life if it was like this place, so very quiet all of the time...but I am getting ahead again

I cant do that. I have promised myself that I would try to live in the day one day at a time while I am here. I am trying to not fret (picture a horse breaking out in a nervious lather pulling at the bit out of unseen fear while standing safe in its stall.. that is "fretting") or worry or get ahead too far. That is not what this is about. Its been hard while so ill, getting out will help a lot as I feel better.

Annabelle is doing well and is the darling of the complex. I have to restrain her exuburances when meeting new people, but other than that she is a happy camper loving the climb up and down the stairs to go walking outside. I am so glad that I was able to bring her with me.

I ask for your continued prayers and good wishes, for I most certainly need them as I climb this mountain one step at a time.

Labels: Annabelle, Artisans Fine Jewelry Repair, Bella Vista, Business start up, Conner School, Faith, Health, IN, Kentucky, New Albany, Woody, working

April 20, 2008

Psalm 27 ~ The Lord Is My Light

Glorious Morning over Bella Vista AR


The Lord Is My Light and My Salvation

A Song Of David.

The Lord is my light and my salvation;
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life;
of whom shall I be afraid?

When evildoers assail me
to eat up my flesh,
my adversaries and foes,
it is they who stumble and fall.

Though an army encamp against me,
my heart shall not fear;
though war arise against me,
yet I will be confident.

One thing have I asked of the Lord,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
and to inquire in his temple.

For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.

And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the Lord.

Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
You have said, “Seek [fn4] my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, Lord, do I seek.”
Hide not your face from me.
Turn not your servant away in anger,
O you who have been my help.
Cast me not off; forsake me not,
O God of my salvation!
For my father and my mother have forsaken me,
but the Lord will take me in.

Teach me your way, O Lord,
and lead me on a level path
because of my enemies.
Give me not up to the will of my adversaries;
for false witnesses have risen against me,
and they breathe out violence.

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord
in the land of the living!

Wait for the Lord;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the Lord!

Labels: Scenic Arkansas, scripture

April 16, 2008

"We Interrupt Your Regularly Scheduled Program...."

One of my best friends now that hot tea is my drink of choice these days...

Definition of Interruption
Interruption

The act of interrupting, or breaking in upon.


The state of being interrupted; a breach or break, caused by the abrupt intervention of something foreign; intervention; interposition.


Obstruction caused by breaking in upon course, current, progress, or motion; stop; hindrance; as, the author has met with many interruptions in the execution of his work; the speaker or the argument proceeds without interruption.


Temporary cessation; intermission; suspension.

The coughing fits were unbelievable in their intensity, I gasped for air to find none, then to feel my brain thrown sideways against my skull, as my diaphragm jerked my chest forward in another heaving spasmodic wave. I coughed none stop for thirty minutes. I know, I was watching a clock across the room. The barking sounds coming from my throat confused my dog who was whining and barking at me, tail between her legs, perhaps despairing that somehow she was displeasing me and I was yelling at her. She knew there was a problem but not what it was. I sat there on the floor, in the mess I had made, trying to reassure her non verbally, my head spinning...Finally in an effort to get up and get to the bathroom, I managed to get up and into a chair off of my knees... Only to start coughing again, and as I tried to stand, I fell forward and blacked out...

I woke to Annabelle licking my face in a frantic effort to wake me up... She is my best friend in truth...

... "Doctor I have been ill for nearly three weeks but the cough started 10 days ago..." and it started again, the incredible coughing spasms, I practically threw myself into this mans arms the forward motion was so violent. I know he was surprised because of the look on his face as he held me by the shoulders as I coughed my brains out into the towel he provided quickly. Looking at what I had produced, he said " As you said no sign of infection and you are an allergy sufferer... With the rains the mold here is particularly bad, and of course everything in the world is blooming just now... but I don't think that is what this is. I think you have Pertussis. I looking at him and said "Whooping Cough? I know I was vaccinated for that, Im too old for the "Dont Vacinate your Kid for fear of what ever" crowd...

He went on to say that the description of the course of my illness exactly matches what happens when Whooping Cough is presented Low grade infection that seems to go away, but all that has done is fool the body into thinking that its done its job in the meantime the Pertussis bacteria breeds in your lungs, filling them up. By the time your body realizes there is this problem its too late and the horrendous
cough is the last ditch effort of the body to fight it off. Infants suffucate from the mucus this plague generates. In adults, you take over the counter drugs like Mucinex and it doest touch it. I had taken OTCs for the full three weeks and was so saturated with the various chemicals in them that my ususally low blood pressure was up to 160/100. That in an of its self was scary, and had I not gone to the doctor, that could have had a very bad outcome.

So the doctor gave me an antibiotic. I was still skeptical, but he said that this antibiotic was fairly specific and if I had something else my sputum would go from clear to slightly discolored, if it is pertussis, it will be very ugly, and a lot of it. Take the other three percriptions to handle the cough, clear liquids and bed rest. NO OTC's period, no even asprin for a few days. drink as much water as I can to clear out and reduce my Blood Pressure... that would go a long way to making me feel better

Fortunaly, the nest is well stocked with food and doggy treats, I I went home and locked myself in. He was right, my sputum turned so vile that had he not mentioned it I might have gone to ER thinking I was dying finally.The first day was still very bad but it has gradually gotten better, but I am still very weak and feel like a feather could knock me over.

My instructor was very encouraging, and rightly wants me to stay home untill I am over this. The atmosphere at the school, with the chemicals, particulate from filing sanding and polishing as well as the smoking that goes on there is no good for me right now. I am not missing anything because the classes repeat at intervals and I am going to be here for a long while yet.

Woody was willing to drive back out here, but I waved him off as he could get this too and he is better off where he is. Nothing on him, mind you, but his ideas of pampering me and mine are way different. I really need to just be quiet and alone. I dont need errands run or anything, Annabelle is going to do her business on the pad things and yes my trash and out bound mail are piling up but perhaps she and I will take to short walk to the trash and mail box today, Its a nice sunny day today.

I used to find that innteruptions into "my" life plan were so annoying...but I think now that they are God's way of showing me something. My broken foot last fall was a great example of that. It slowed me down to see the possiblities of a different future than the one that I was bitterly resigning myself to. It gave me time to listen to God and to my own heart and to formulate a plan.

I see that this is true in this situation as well. I have had time to connect with my new surroundings. Time to rest to play and bond with Annabelle, who now wants to be with me every moment I am home (other than jump into the shower, she cant understand why I would want to get wet everyday....) To think and be quiet... that has been a great gift...

But some more tea and time to get comfy on the the couch. I still cough violently when laying down. I am so looking forward to a real nights sleep prone on a bed. At Dawn the sun rises just over the first green. Its lovely to see the sunrise again.

Labels: Annabelle, Breaking News, Conner School, Faith, Health, Woody

April 13, 2008

Acts 2 14a,36-41~ The Sermon of Peter

The Worship Center of Watkins United Methodist Church. www.watkinsumc.com Springhurst/Westport Louisville KY

Acts 2 14a, 36-41


But Peter, standing with the eleven, lifted up his voice and addressed them, “Men of Judea and all who dwell in Jerusalem, let this be known to you, and give ear to my words"

Let all the house of Israel therefore know for certain that God has made him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified.”

Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?”And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.For the promise is for you and for your children and for all who are far off, everyone whom the Lord our God calls to himself.”And with many other words he bore witness and continued to exhort them, saying, “Save yourselves from this crooked generation.”So those who received his word were baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls.

Labels: Louisville, scripture, UMC

April 12, 2008

Thunder Over Louisville

Looking down the fairway to the 2nd tee. This is the view off my balcony... The large white building in the distance is the Ford Truck plant. Legends at Indian Springs Louisville KY

One of the things that I have loved about our traveling here in the US is discovering wonderful local events that nobody seems to have ever heard about. We all know about the Kentucky Derby, America's Greatest Horse Race, and its sister race for the Sistah's the Kentucky Oaks, held a day apart the first saturday and friday of May respectively. There is plenty of pageantry to go around right? A week of parties and dances, BBQ's and parades all the proceeds going to various charity venues....

Did I say a week???? Try a month...yes a whole month of Carnival featuring Airshows, Balloon racing, a world class Marathon, Musical events with both Rock and Country stars arriving to do concerts some on schedule others just "showing up" to jam at a Charity event. As I read about the various events in the paper I am curising this flu bug that has had me in a vise like grip for nearly three weeks and is worsening. I would have loved to have gone to the airshow today.

Called Thunder Over Louisville, the Airshow is combined with the largest Pyrotechnical display in America. Using a bridge that spans the Ohio River as it launching pad, thousands of rockets are fired off in an amazing display. I watched on my TV and it was amazing. They also had barges with different dysplays on them and everytime the "theme" changed there was the firing of 50 howitzers brought in from Ft. Knox. I am sure that there is film of this on YouTube and if I can link it up I will

My personal Thunder over Louisville is my horrendous cough, that was so violent that I blacked out this afternoon and fell out of a chair. Annabelle got out of the way, and woke me by licking my face. At that point I surrendered and got dressed and went to a local Urgent Care. Closed for you guessed it... everyone was at the riverfront... so it will be my first stop tomorrow which means I will be forgoing church, just as well.

The cough has me worried. I do not have an infection there is no sign of that but rather a huge over abundance of mucus of an egg white consitancy. Allergy and very bad too. I am convinced it the shop, with the chemicals the particulates from polishing and the smoking of nearly everyone there. Mucinex is not touching this, so I am trying to remain as quiet as I can, and perhaps tomorrow get some relief...I am afraid this will mean steriods but I am willing to do what I have to do to learn this trade. Charlie is a genious, and I can learn a lot from him if I can get over this and hold up. He feels that I am doing well and that with time and health (how much attention can you pay if you are dropping off from being OD on cough meds...last thursday I was sent home for fear that I wouldnt make it home, and stayed home on friday) I will be really good because I care about what I do... that has to make a difference.

Annabelle is in her bed, the booming has finally stopped and she is at peace. It is tempting to take her to be with me but she wont be able to do that once we get home so its into her crate for the night. She loved taking her nap with me today as we watched the airplaines from the airshow fly about. It was pretty amazing and perhaps I will get back here at another time to see this event again




Thunder over Louisville The reminants of a very bad storm that did a lot of damage in the area

Labels: Annabelle, Conner School, Health, Kentucky, Louisville

April 08, 2008

A Whiter Shade of Pale

The White Bedroom at the Legends

I am settling into my digs here and I am starting to enjoy the empty space and the peace of not having to try to figure out how to live in my situation at home. Not having to deal with the clutter and stuff ...well ....I can breathe here

I have yet to reconcile the colorlessness of this place. I have never lived in a more unstimulated environment. I love a white wall, but a wall is only a background for art or ornaments, not as an end in itself. I know that this was done to facilitate the "Corporate" set up but its not me

When Woody was here we talked about putting up curtains and doing this or that. But the truth is that I really cant afford to redecorate, and my thought is now to learn to enjoy the peaceful blankness of the canvas of this home, and enjoy the view of the golf course and the comfort and peace of the place. I could be sharing a house with another student as some have done that have gone to the school.The Lord has provided for my every need.

What I think is funny is the contents of the cartons that I brought with me. Books ect. Think about what you would bring with you...Some of the more interesting things that I brought with me

8 cartons of nutrisystems (well its food I have and why not eat it)
3 Bibles as well as a copy of the Catechism of the Catholic Church
6 boxes of votive candles Cant burn them with the kitties around will use them here, I brought candle holders as well

My book list and CDs not to mention my Ipod all loaded up...

What would you bring to your deserted island?




I found this teapot at a local market. I had nothing to boil water in and this added a bit of color to the kitchen

Labels: Conner School, Kentucky

April 06, 2008

Isaiah 12~ The Lord Is My Strength and My Song

Spring Pasture, Nottingham Farms, Shelby Co. Kentucky



The Lord Is My Strength and My Song

You will say in that day:
I will give thanks to you, O Lord,
for though you were angry with me,
your anger turned away,
that you might comfort me.

Behold, God is my salvation;
I will trust, and will not be afraid;
for the Lord God is my strength and my song,
and he has become my salvation.

With joy you will draw water from the wells of salvation.
And you will say in that day:

Give thanks to the Lord,
call upon his name,
make known his deeds among the peoples,
proclaim that his name is exalted.

Sing praises to the Lord, for he has done gloriously;
let this be made known in all the earth.
Shout, and sing for joy, O inhabitant of Zion,
for great in your midst is the Holy One of Israel.

Labels: Kentucky, scripture

April 04, 2008

Skating Away On The Thin Ice Of A New Day

Peaceful Ohio River Near Albany Indiana.

3am departure from the house in Arkansas, Woody at the wheel and Annabelle in her travel crate. The van only partially filled but filled never the less with those things that I think will aid me during this period of my life.

As we pulled out I thought about an old Jethro Tull tune... Not big on the first verse but the second and the third seemed very appropriate

Skating away ---
skating away ---
skating away on the thin ice of the New Day.

So as you push off from the shore,
won't you turn your head once more --- and make your peace with everyone?
For those who choose to stay,
will live just one more day ---
to do the things they should have done.
And as you cross the wilderness, spinning in your emptiness:
you feel you have to pray.
Looking for a sign
that the Universal Mind... has written you into the Passion Play.

Skating away ---
skating away ---
skating away on the thin ice of the New Day.

And as you cross the circle line, the ice-wall creaks behind ---
you're a rabbit on the run.
And the silver splinters fly in the corner of your eye ---
shining in the setting sun.
Well, do you ever get the feeling that the story's
too damn real and in the present tense?
Or that everybody's on the stage, and it seems like
you're the only person sitting in the audience?

Skating away ---
skating away ---
skating away on the thin ice of the New Day.

I have spent the last four weeks "making peace" with everyone...that I could. I wish that I had been able to spend more time with people that matter to me that I wont see for months, but what was done is done and now we are on this new road.

We stopped only for the briefest rest stops. I was able to take Annabelle walking. She did a great job traveling and even though she has found herself in a vortex of change. There is not one thing the same about her life from this week to the last, but she is flexible and good hearted and has been a big help in my ajustment to the new surroundings

It seems that a doogy kiss or a good walk around the block cures everything...

The drive out while long was uneventful. I have had the flu for nearly a week and was feeling pretty bad as we loaded the van and took off. Between sleep apnea and double dipping on cold medicines, I dropped off constantly, so Woody did most of the driving. I was very grateful. Without him I coulndnt have done this.

We arrived in Louisville and our apartment was ready. We were grateful for a bed and a location with over 300 eating opportunities with in a short distance so we could fine refreshment. The Springhurst district has some of the finest shopping and dining opportunities in the city. I can walk accross the street to the mall or the Meijer store, and drive to an additional 200 stores and resturants. They also have a "spa" for Annabelle with doggy daycare and overnight.

Im crashing until monday when I start my training at the Conner School. They have really improved the classroom area and have opened a retail studio next door. There is only one student currently, and joy of joy, it seems that Charles has stayed off the smoking. My lungs will be eternally grateful

4-5-08

We have had two days of heavy heavy rain here. Flooding in a number of areas and even in this area of high ground, the gournd is soggy like a wet sponge. My rooms overlook the first green and today was the first sunny day and there were plenty of golfers cursing the SLOOOOW sloppy break into the cup.

Woody and I have had a good week here. He has done everything he can to help me get settled in. I think he likes it here, There is less of eveything and it feels like a vacation home rather than our house. Its given me the idea that getting rid of about half of my stuff it likely the best thing that I can do for us at home...

Annabelle loves the things that are missing... The kitties! She is free to do what she wants to do and we dont have to worry about Makkie chasing her or Annabelle getting into the litter box or the cats food both are very bad for her to be involved in. We are having some struggle with the bathroom. I should be so lucky really. She has no desire to go on her peepad but will hold it forever until I can take her outside. With the pouring rain this was not possible, so with paitence, treats and some prayer she is starting to understand that she HAS to go when I put her in her bathroom and that going out is a treat. I will try to get her out twice a day when I can.But with more bad weather on the way this is going to be tough.

I really like the situation, I am so grateful for every little comfort that has been accorded to me and am ready for this next phase of my life. I will be putting Woody on a plane sunday evening for NW Arkansas, and his new life. He hasnt lived alone much in his life and this will be an interesting experience for him

Labels: Annabelle, Conner School, Louisville, Traveling, weather

March 30, 2008

John 20:19-31~ The Mercy in His Wounds

Shining Saints The Stained Glass Windows of the church of St Boniface Anaheim CA

On the evening of that day, the first day of the week, the doors being locked where the disciples were for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said to them, “Peace be with you.”When he had said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples were glad when they saw the Lord.Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, even so I am sending you.”And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit.If you forgive the sins of anyone, they are forgiven; if you withhold forgiveness from anyone, it is withheld.”


Jesus and Thomas

Now Thomas, one of the Twelve, called the Twin, [fn3] was not with them when Jesus came.So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see in his hands the mark of the nails, and place my finger into the mark of the nails, and place my hand into his side, I will never believe.”

Eight days later, his disciples were inside again, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.”Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here, and see my hands; and put out your hand, and place it in my side. Do not disbelieve, but believe.”Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!”Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.”


Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of the disciples, which are not written in this book;but these are written so that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in his name.

Labels: California, Catholic, scripture

March 29, 2008

Divine Mercy In My Soul

Ave Maria Lady Chapel at St Boniface church anaheim CA. Our Lady of Czestochowa is the patroness of Poland St Faustina's homeland


Everyday at 0300 and at 1500 EST EWTN broadcasts a 20 minute prayer called the Chaplet of the Divine Mercy. This carries across north America and is part of a worldwide devotion called the "3 o'clock Devotion" In some nations like Poland and the Philippines the prayer is called on nearly all national media outlets and is a part of a daily routine. Nurses all over the world say the prayer for the sick and dying as it is thought to provide special comfort to the afflicted and a means for the dying to "release themselves" into the Hand of the Father. I was praying that prayer at the hour of my Mother's death after a prolonged struggle with Parkinson's diesese.

Over the past three years I have become more and more interested in this devotion and in the life and message of St Faustina. Her diary, and what she wrote therein has startled me. The prophetic passages that predict WWII the Holocaust, (she was an enclosed nun who died in 1938. These passages were written before the rise of Hitler) Her diary predicts the occupation and liberation of Poland and the rise of "a spiritual leader" from that land that will lead the world into a new understanding of Divine Truth. Certainly John Paul II fits that description. The proof of the prophet is fullfillment of the prophecy.

So,who was St Faustina and why is she so important? What is this "feast" about read more here

The Divine Mercy devotion is one of the many many things that has lead me towards the The Roman Church. I see in the devotion a purpose for the suffering all around me. Where in so many churches that I have sat in, suffering is a sign of God's displeasure, in the Catholic church, and within the Divine Mercy devotion suffering is lookd upon as "redemptive" "an offering that you can give up to God". It has helped me to make sense of much of my life and my current struggles...

The Divine Mercy devotion has also refined my veiw of the sufferings of Jesus. Why would God require such a sacrifice from His own child? It is the Ransom of the World, and its power is released in the prayers of the faithful...

This isnt a cure all I am not espousing an end to private prayer, free prayer from the heart, but there is something powerful in people praying the same prayer in the same fashion with the same intent at the same hour every hour of the day around the clock.


Eternal Father, I offer You the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Your dearly beloved Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, in atonement for our sins and those of the whole world.

For the sake of His sorrowful Passion, have mercy on us and on the whole world.repeat 10x

repeat this cycle 5x

Holy God, Holy Mighty One, Holy Immortal One, have mercy on us and on the whole world.repeat 3x

then from the Novena

Most Merciful Jesus, whose very nature it is to have compassion on us and to forgive us, do not look upon our sins, but upon our trust which we place in Your infinite goodness. Receive us all into the abode of Your Most Compassionate Heart, and never let us escape from It. We beg this of You by Your love which unites You to the Father and the Holy Spirit.

Eternal Father, turn Your merciful gaze upon all mankind and especially upon poor sinners, all enfolded in the Most Compassionate Heart of Jesus. For the sake of His Sorrowful Passion show us Your mercy, that we may praise the omnipotence of Your mercy for ever and ever. Amen.

Labels: California, Catholic, Prayers

March 28, 2008

The End of the Drought

Quiet Sugar Creek, Bentonville AR. It hasnt been like this in weeks and much of my favorite walking trail is innudated and bridges are out. Hopefully they will be fixed when I return in the fall...


I woke this morning early to the sound of hail hitting our roof. I can tell the difference from rain now, the soft ping-ping of rain on the hood of the heat pump is like music, the sound of hail like buckshot blasting down from heaven causes alarm. It hailed so hard and long last evening that it looked like it had snowed in Haiwasse amd Gravette, the next towns over from us. It had been so warm during the day that our hail, the size of water softener salt, melted very quickly. Annabelle and I had just come in from walking and we sat and watched the lightning and the wind whipped clouds until the storm passed. She didnt seem afraid. I make a point to not be afraid with her. I dont want her to become one of those poor pets that cries at every bolt of lightning. She would be a mental case if that were to happen. I would say "Its ok, and she would lick me as if to say "Dont worry Mom, I'm an Okie from Muskogee, land of twisters and hail the size of golfballs... This is nuttin..." and so she is very brave...

The Ozarks were in a state of long standing drought when we arrived in 2005. Lakes streams and reservoirs were way down and fell futher untill this winter. Its been cold and wet, now torrentially wet. We are not in the flood zone like those east of us on the White river. Sadly we are a part of the souce of their misery and as I see the spillways of our lakes flood into Big Sugar creek, a feeder stream for the White River that should crest today. 34 counties here in Arkansas are slated as disaster areas including Benton county where I live. Bella Vista, for the most part, is built on the hills and the water drains into lakes and sreams away from the buildings, Parks, golf courses and fishing lakes fill the valley floors and absorb what runoff the streams dont take to Big Sugar Creek. I count myself very fortunate.

I am nearly ready to leave for New Albany/Louisville and my apprenticeship/training with Charles Conner. My apartment is ready, furniture is in and utilites on. The Ohio River crested this week with no damage to the school which is only a few blocks away, and all seems well for the cross country trip this week. I have nearly everything packed up that I am taking. I likely have ten time more than I need but frankly, I dont want to buy anything that I can hual down there. I have plenty of room in the van. We pulled out the passenger seats, and realized a huge amount of extra space. I will need this on the return trip as I will be hualing back supplies and equipment for the shop

After exhaustive vetting, bids, ect. I finally have a General Contractor selected, and SHE, yes a local gal that came highly reccomended, will start by painting and getting that yucky mustard color (why, people, is this color so in vogue, as well as the swamp mud brown that seems to be on the walls of every spec home in the area? It looks like poop!)Karina will be getting that done now so the smell can have a chance to disapate a bit. Im glad of that.

Since leaving my former employer, I have had a chance to relax and let go of some of the things that were troubling me about staying on there. Now that I am no longer on the payroll I can talk about some of the things that were going on. The company allowed a lot of things to go on that in no way should go on in this day and age and frankly I needed to leave as I was not in a position (nor did it affect me directly as my bosses were fantastic gentlemen and were nothing but respectful and kind to me) But eventually that was going to change, as I was going to have to return to day shift and start dealing with the rampant sexual harassment and well "fishing in one's own pond" a climate of infedelity that was treated as ok. I saw myself as possibly becoming entangled in at least one person's life and perhaps in one other's and I needed to bail. I would be working for new managers and who knows how that would go. That is one reason I would have nothing to say on my blog about work, I was prohibited from writing anything that might get back to the company or pop up on the internet, and even now I wont say who I was working for...it doesnt matter.

On the home front Woody and I have been cordial and getting along. He took great exception to the post I wrote back in February regarding manners Saying that I took HUGE liberties with the truth and that it wasnt a big deal. Well it was to me and I felt that I wrote that and didnt exagerate the truth. He says he reads my blog to get a feel for how I feel because "I dont tell him" No, he doesnt listen to me doesnt hear me and I feel right now as if I will explode I have so much to say... But to express it will only cause trouble here at home. Maybe he should just talk to me directly

I predict that there will be a lot of changes in the comming months... the time alone will be good for me. It is my hope that be releasing myself from the surroundings of pain, disappointment and frustration I will find that my personal drought will have ended and that in the quiet of my near solitude after a day of learning a new thing that maybe I will have something to say and I can feel good about saying it. I wont have to listen to critical voices telling me how wrong I am. Im sick of it. I hope to one day find a place in this world where I fit in. I am willing to work for it, create it for myself.A friend shared with me that he felt that "there was life here." I think he thinks for Woody and me, but I dont think so. I think I must try to reframe my relationship with him, but the "life" will come from elsewhere. I am gestating life within me, a new life for myself. It is only a matter of time

Labels: Annabelle, Artisans Fine Jewelry Repair, Bella Vista, Blogging, Business start up, Conner School, Dreams, Louisville, Marriage, New Albany, Scenic Arkansas, Traveling, weather, Woody, working

March 23, 2008

Easter Praise

The Table of Communion Calvary Chapel Long Beach CA


At the Name of Jesus, every knee shall bow,
Every tongue confess Him King of glory now;
’Tis the Father’s pleasure we should call Him Lord,
Who from the beginning was the mighty Word.

Mighty and mysterious in the highest height,
God from everlasting, very light of light:
In the Father’s bosom with the spirit blest,
Love, in love eternal, rest, in perfect rest.

At His voice creation sprang at once to sight,
All the angel faces, all the hosts of light,
Thrones and dominations, stars upon their way,
All the heavenly orders, in their great array.

Humbled for a season, to receive a name
From the lips of sinners unto whom He came,
Faithfully He bore it, spotless to the last,
Brought it back victorious when from death He passed.

Bore it up triumphant with its human light,
Through all ranks of creatures, to the central height,
To the throne of Godhead, to the Father’s breast;
Filled it with the glory of that perfect rest.

Name Him, brothers, name Him, with love strong as death
But with awe and wonder, and with bated breath!
He is God the Savior, He is Christ the Lord,
Ever to be worshipped, trusted and adored.

In your hearts enthrone Him; there let Him subdue
All that is not holy, all that is not true;
Crown Him as your Captain in temptation’s hour;
Let His will enfold you in its light and power.

Brothers, this Lord Jesus shall return again,
With His Father’s glory, with His angel train;
For all wreaths of empire meet upon His brow,
And our hearts confess Him King of glory now.

Car­o­line No­el 1870

March 21, 2008

The Death of Jesus, as told by His Friend John

A depiction of the vision given to St. Francis... Lifting Christ from his Cross. In the refectory of Little Portion Retreat Center Eureka Springs Arkansas
.
The Holy Gospel of John, Chapter 19 ESV


Jesus Delivered to Be Crucified

Then Pilate took Jesus and flogged him.And the soldiers twisted together a crown of thorns and put it on his head and arrayed him in a purple robe.They came up to him, saying, “Hail, King of the Jews!” and struck him with their hands.Pilate went out again and said to them, “See, I am bringing him out to you that you may know that I find no guilt in him.”So Jesus came out, wearing the crown of thorns and the purple robe. Pilate said to them, “Behold the man!”When the chief priests and the officers saw him, they cried out, “Crucify him, crucify him!” Pilate said to them, “Take him yourselves and crucify him, for I find no guilt in him.”The Jews answered him, “We have a law, and according to that law he ought to die because he has made himself the Son of God.”When Pilate heard this statement, he was even more afraid.He entered his headquarters again and said to Jesus, “Where are you from?” But Jesus gave him no answer.So Pilate said to him, “You will not speak to me? Do you not know that I have authority to release you and authority to crucify you?”Jesus answered him, “You would have no authority over me at all unless it had been given you from above. Therefore he who delivered me over to you has the greater sin.”

From then on Pilate sought to release him, but the Jews cried out, “If you release this man, you are not Caesar's friend. Everyone who makes himself a king opposes Caesar.”So when Pilate heard these words, he brought Jesus out and sat down on the judgment seat at a place called The Stone Pavement, and in Aramaic Gabbatha.Now it was the day of Preparation of the Passover. It was about the sixth hour. He said to the Jews, “Behold your King!”They cried out, “Away with him, away with him, crucify him!” Pilate said to them, “Shall I crucify your King?” The chief priests answered, “We have no king but Caesar.”So he delivered him over to them to be crucified.

The Crucifixion

So they took Jesus,and he went out, bearing his own cross, to the place called the place of a skull, which in Aramaic is called Golgotha.There they crucified him, and with him two others, one on either side, and Jesus between them.Pilate also wrote an inscription and put it on the cross. It read, “Jesus of Nazareth, the King of the Jews.”Many of the Jews read this inscription, for the place where Jesus was crucified was near the city, and it was written in Aramaic, in Latin, and in Greek.So the chief priests of the Jews said to Pilate, “Do not write, ‘The King of the Jews,’ but rather, ‘This man said, I am King of the Jews.’”Pilate answered, “What I have written I have written.”

When the soldiers had crucified Jesus, they took his garments and divided them into four parts, one part for each soldier; also his tunic. But the tunic was seamless, woven in one piece from top to bottom,so they said to one another, “Let us not tear it, but cast lots for it to see whose it shall be.” This was to fulfill the Scripture which says,

“They divided my garments among them,
and for my clothing they cast lots.”

So the soldiers did these things,but standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother's sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene.When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!”Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.

The Death of Jesus

After this, Jesus, knowing that all was now finished, said (to fulfill the Scripture), “I thirst.”A jar full of sour wine stood there, so they put a sponge full of the sour wine on a hyssop branch and held it to his mouth.When Jesus had received the sour wine, he said, “It is finished,” and he bowed his head and gave up his spirit.

Jesus' Side Is Pierced

Since it was the day of Preparation, and so that the bodies would not remain on the cross on the Sabbath (for that Sabbath was a high day), the Jews asked Pilate that their legs might be broken and that they might be taken away.So the soldiers came and broke the legs of the first, and of the other who had been crucified with him.But when they came to Jesus and saw that he was already dead, they did not break his legs.But one of the soldiers pierced his side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water.He who saw it has borne witness—his testimony is true, and he knows that he is telling the truth—that you also may believe.For these things took place that the Scripture might be fulfilled: “Not one of his bones will be broken.”And again another Scripture says, “They will look on him whom they have pierced.”

Jesus Is Buried

After these things Joseph of Arimathea, who was a disciple of Jesus, but secretly for fear of the Jews, asked Pilate that he might take away the body of Jesus, and Pilate gave him permission. So he came and took away his body.Nicodemus also, who earlier had come to Jesus by night, came bringing a mixture of myrrh and aloes, about seventy-five pounds in weight.So they took the body of Jesus and bound it in linen cloths with the spices, as is the burial custom of the Jews.Now in the place where he was crucified there was a garden, and in the garden a new tomb in which no one had yet been laid.So because of the Jewish day of Preparation, since the tomb was close at hand, they laid Jesus there.

Labels: Catholic, Little Portion, scripture

March 19, 2008

Pange Lingua Gloriosi~ an Easter Hymn

Stained Glass St Boniface Church Anaheim CA

When at length the appointed fullness
Of the sacred time was come
He was sent the world's Creator
From The Father's heavenly home
And was found in human fashion
Offspring of The Virgin's womb

Now the thirty years have ended
Which on earth he willed to see
Willingly he meets His Passion
Born to set His people free
On the cross The Lamb is lifted
There the Sacrifice to be

There the nails and spear He suffered
Vinegar and gall and reed
From His sacred body pierced
Blodd and water forth proceed
Precious flood, which all creation
From the stain of sin hath freed

Venantius Fortunatius
530-609 AD

Labels: California, Catholic, Poem, Prayers